1/20/26
“How many people have you killed?” my boss asked.
I froze.
Let me back up.
My boss and I have a pretty smart-ass banter. We were joking earlier about the fact that I don’t cook. At all. I hate it. We laughed. Conversation moved on.
Later, I was working on daily reports and completely forgot what we’d been talking about.
So when, from the other room, he casually asked, “So… how many people have you killed?” my body reacted before my brain could catch up. My stomach dropped. My mind raced. Terror, anxiety, and embarrassment all showed up at once.
I didn’t answer. I didn’t move. I just froze.
Thankfully, I’ve learned not to react immediately when I’m caught off guard. I took a deep breath and tried to figure out what was actually happening.
Of course, my first thought was, Did he Google me?
And right on the heels of that, If he had, would he really ask me like that? From the other room?
No. He wouldn’t.
I knew I was missing something, so as casually as I could manage, I asked, “What do you mean?”
He walked back into the office we’re currently sharing and said, “With your cooking. How many?”
The relief was instant. I tried not to let it show as I laughed and said, “How can I kill anyone with my cooking if I literally never cook?”
“Good point,” he said.
Then we went back to work. Conversation over.
Crisis averted.
For now.