Hiiiiiii!!!!!!
Some of y’all need to get better about writing me back. 😂 By the way, how long do I have to wait before I can visit?
I got to move into my apartment by the job site I’m working at in Arkansas early, and I am SO happy here.
I just feel this new sense of freedom there that I didn’t feel in FL. I was doing amazing here, but now I truly feel free.
I say here because I’m actually home in FL for almost a week to renew my travel pass. I still have my place here too. He does Airbnb and just blocks off the days I come home, so I still have my room when I’m back.
But y’all…
The gratitude I feel waking up in a place that is all mine is probably indescribable to most people, but I know y’all will understand.
I can’t wait for you to feel it again too.
I literally walk around my apartment looking at everything and saying, “Mine.”
My bedroom. Mine.
My kitchen. Mine.
My shower. Mine.
I even named my Wi-Fi network “Mine.” LMAO.
After so many years of having absolutely no control over where I lived or even where I slept, I don’t think I’ll ever take something as simple as having my own front door for granted.
I love my job.
I love everyone I work with, and they seem to love me too. I didn’t even want to come back to FL because I have to miss work Monday and Tuesday, and I DON’T WANNA MISS. 😂
My job just officially got its first trucks of steel for the building, and it was such an adrenaline rush to be there at the very beginning and watch everything start ramping up.
Y’all know how much I LOVE coding, but I honestly think I should have gone into heavy equipment when I was in prison instead.
My job is literally to be in charge of ordering and managing all of the heavy equipment on-site.
We will be using boom lifts, forklifts up to 55K, and FOUR cranes—three lattice boom crawlers and one RT crane.
And I have been driving a buggy around the site!
The site is like an entire mile long.
We are building a lumber mill.
Sometimes I seriously stop and think, how in the hell is this my life now?
Anyway…
I’ve been living up the single life.
I took myself to see the Broadway musical Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat, and it was phenomenal.
I’ve been going to two or three AA meetings and church every week in AR.
I even have my first official friend! His name is Luke. He’s a gay guy I met in AA, and we’ve gone to the Museum of Fine Arts together and hit up meetings.
I’ve gone on some dates too…
But nothing to talk about yet.
Honestly, I’m really enjoying just being me right now.
I’m learning how to enjoy my own company, focus on my career, and let life unfold instead of trying to force it.
And apparently part of this new adventure is figuring out who I am when I’m not surviving some kind of crisis.
Turns out…
I kinda like her.
I love and miss you all.
PLEASE WRITE ME BACK! Seriously. Your messages help me more than you probably realize.
I’m doing amazing, but I still get lonely once in a while. Hearing from y’all lifts my spirits and reminds me that some of the people who understand this journey the most are still right there.
I can’t wait until every one of you gets to walk into your own place, look around, and say:
Mine.
Until then, I’m out here rooting for you.
XOXO.